Purge

for nearly two years, i having been letting go of things a little at a time. then about a year ago i seriously started getting rid of clothes, shoes, papers and anything else that no longer fits the life i have now and the life i am coming into. yesterday, i trashed more than 20 seasonings that had long expired, leaving me with basically salt and pepper. today i cleared the walls in my bedroom. one of the walls in my bedroom served as my prayer wall for about two years. also, on that wall were three vision boards that were at least seven years old. fyi none of my vision boards manifested but 80 percent of my prayers were answered. i will take that. tomorrow i am getting rid of pots, pans and the two containers of xeroxed chapters, news articles and other xeroxed writings i compiled during grad school to write the thesis i never wrote.

twenty-one whole years ago, i departed Rutgers University wounded, depressed, and defeated. i swore for about five years i would write that thesis. i did not.  any who, i am going to get rid of the remaining weight of not finishing 21 years ago. i am making room and creating space for me to continue to exist whole, complete, joyful and fierce. i am moving in my bold direction. the sense of urgency to not carry old things with me has become my intention every day. this vision i carry in me is coming to life. think me pregnant, if you will.

i do need my village to carry and birth this vision. please remind me that i am enough. remind me that faith holds the vision. remind me that God is for me. remind me that she who God calls God qualifies and who God qualifies God justifies. remind me that i have all that i need inside me. remind me to be bold and brave. remind me that God can do more than i can ask, think, or imagine. remind me that God is doing a new thing in me. remind me of my gifts, skills, scholarship, intellect, creativity, talents and blessings. remind me this is my joy and my purpose.

side notes:

• i hope there will  a birthing ceremony and celebration…for real though.
• i am getting rid of things and not be laboring the process trying to figure out where to take it or donate it. that in itself is freeing.
• i have lived in this apartment for 12 years. at the ten year mark i knew it was time to purge.
• i do not cook nearly as much as i once did. probably about seven years ago when my bestie moved to Rhode Island. (no hard feelings bestie.)
• in a month’s time i purchased a laptop, SUV, and phone. i’m-a-take all of this needing to happen one right after the other as a HUGE & BIG sign of moving upward and onward. awoman!